Empodera Latina
Empodera Latina

Season 1, Episode · 2 years ago

Greatest Life Lessons


After reflecting on her life, Rita goes into an episode about he greatest life lessons. --- Send in a voice message:

You're listening to empowerment and all that podcast, your favorite podcast for women's empowerment, hosted by Rita Bautista. It's time to be reminded of the authority of your inner goddess and elevate the power within. Are you ready? Hey, guys, welcome back to another episode of empowerment and all that. I'm read to your host and on today's show I'll be going over thirty five lessons that I've learned over the last thirty five years of my life. In the next couple of days I'll be turning thirty five, and one of my favorite things to do right before my birthday is to make a nice little reflection and figure out exactly what I've learned over the last couple of years. Sometimes it changes, sometimes it just stays the same, but one of the best parts about reflection is that it's your own personal journey. So, anyway, I wanted to start off with this because I felt like every year for my birthday I do something pretty extravagant. Either I go to Vegas I go to Europe. I've enjoyed just about everything possible, had every single type of cuisine, bottles of wine, all this stuff and honestly, for the first time in my life, I've been kind of in between whether or not I really wanted to host a party or do whatever. So I chose to actually do something a little different. Instead of celebrating my birthday the traditional way that I normally did, I'm actually going to host an event at my thirty five and a half versus celebrating my thirty five birthday. I just felt like I needed some more time personally to get to know myself a little bit better before I'm like jumping into this thirty five thing. I don't know if anybody else feels like that out there, but thirty five is an awesome mildstone and honestly, I love every moment of every year that I get to be on this planet and every year that I get to spend time with people I love and get to know people in a better light, learned so much about myself and just all this continued growth and beauty that I get to surround myself with. So I figured why not celebrate thirty five and a half and do it in style and do it exactly how I want? So that's what I'm going to go ahead and do, but let's jump into, as I mentioned, thirty five lessons that I've learned over the last thirty five years. The very first one that I've learned is patience is a virtue. Now, I am not the most patient person in the world, never have been, but one of the things that I finally got a chance to learn was when I had a chance to pull myself away from things that were over stimulating, I learned that patients is probably going to be the thing that guides me in my life from this point on. I picked up planting, weirdly enough, and one of the things that I learned was like I had gotten this little mini rose Bush and it died, but there was like a little pedal on one stem. So I was like, no way, I'm going to say this. I'm going to continue talking to it, nurture it and, believe it or not, with time, that Rose Bush is now flourishing again and it really, as funny as it is, it's something so small and so insignificant to some people, it really just like lit this bulb in my mind. I was like, man, I really need to be a little bit more patient in life, and when you are, you see this beautiful thing come out of it. So yeah, patience is the first one. The next one, I think was the next one, is sometimes you need to retreat to reflect and also in...

...order to push yourself forward to become a better version of yourself. You know, in our lives things go pretty fast. Sometimes we can't stop the events that are happening around us. But I've always learned personally that when I take myself out of situations and I'm able to sit back and reflect and give it some time, I am so much better at addressing issues or addressing things that I need to take care of myself. If I'm able to reflect, if I'm able to give myself the time that I need to get back out there and and push forward. And truthfully, sometimes sitting in silence, and I've said this numerous times, right like the meditation aspect, when you sit in silence, it really gives you the strength and the energy to recharge and get yourself back out there and doing the things that you need to be doing. So that was definitely one of my favorites. Number three is forgive and then forgive, and forgive again and then forgive again. But don't forget. Thirty five years passed with people making mistakes, with me making mistakes, and when I was younger I used to be really great at just cutting people out of my life, and I do truly believe in very strong boundaries now for myself, but I've developed them in a way that I believe that I can distance myself from things that don't work for me, but it doesn't necessarily mean that I can't forgive those people. I remember my grandmother used to say in Spanish, see the US better down them or again. Also does not like. If God forgives, why can't we forgive also? And I think that's such a very powerful way to live your life. Is Just, you know, remembering that people make mistakes and that we are all here just living this life, trying to figure it out. Nobody has a real manual on how to do it. So forgiveness is key. Oh number four is actions speak louder than words, and silence is also an action. Y'All. You know, I don't really need to go too far into that when I think we all know that if somebody's treating you poorly, they're obviously not in your best interests. And if they also don't react or don't talk to you or start to ghost you or whatever. That's also that's also an answer in and of itself, so just be cognizant of that. Number five is your true friends stick by you in your dark days and celebrate your wins. So make sure not to lose them. I have a core of some really amazing people that I've met in my life who I will take with me until I'm in that rocking chair and, you know, in the old folks zone, and those people know exactly who I who they are in my life, and you guys know that I wouldn't trade you for the world. Sometimes we distance ourselves, not because we want to, but because life just gets busy and, you know, we start to become these adults that are responsibility shift from, you know, just having your friendships to having your family, and so the good thing about my core group of friends is that, no matter what happens in those situations or in their lives, we can always find time to, like, reconnect and regroup and I still love them just as much as I did the first day that I realize that they were part of my crew. So yeah, make sure to love your friends, y'all. Number six is have empathy for others, even if they don't have empathy for you, the universe will bless you threefold. You know, I've always been a very empathetic person, almost to a fault, a person who feels other people's emotions, sometimes over my own, and it has sucked because I don't always put myself forward foe first. Sorry, I don't always put myself first, and because of that some of my relationship suffers, shockingly enough. But here's the thing. If I already know that this is my truth, I'm not going to stop living it. What I'm going to do is that if people who are around me don't match my energy, I just don't necessarily need to have them in my...

...core group. Right I can get give some space, so I'm still respecting myself and respecting them as well. Number seven is broken. Isn't the end. It's just a temporary space in your life. I think we've all been there once or twice where we feel like we're in a slum, where maybe we've had a series of bad things happened to you and you feel like it's just super dark and dreary and it's rain meaning and it's unhappy and unhealthy and just you know you're in the space and you don't know how to get out of it. But I'm here to tell you, I promise it will get better. Like things don't last forever, the bad specially the bad things. They don't last forever and they do eventually fade away and then things get back to normal again. Or you learn to live within this center space that you know. You know things are going to be good and they're going to be bad, but the best part about it is if you can live right in the middle part of that and not get too happy or too sad or or just, you know, overwhelmed. I think that that's like the that's the sweet spot of life. Number Eight is spend your time laughing and make sure you're smiling. More so those who know me, I know I'm kind of serious on the PODCAST, but I like to clown around like I'm the big jokester with my friends. I love making fun of people and my friends in like good ways, though, you know, but you know, I truly do love to smile and to laugh, and that's like literally one of my favorite things to do, because sometimes the smile can change your day or it could change somebody else's Day by just looking at you, because smiles are contagious. Yall. Number nine, so maybe you aren't the best at everything, but you're also not the worst. So so many times some of us are extreme, really hard on ourselves. If we're not number one, if we're not live in our best life, if we're not living this instagram life that everybody supposedly has, it's just so perfect. If we're not doing now, we're not on top of the world, and it's like, you know what it's sometimes it's okay to four, to just literally believe that you are literally not the worst, and I'm not saying that anybody out there is the worst, but that mindset itself should just be eliminated completely from your vocabulary. It's okay if you're not number one every day. It's okay, but what's not okay is living in that negativity. So number ten, this was my favorite one, because this is the one that I like live every single day now, is to forgive yourself. Like if we can sit here and forgive other people over and over again for the things that they do to us, we should also give ourselves the same treatment. We should forgive ourselves. We should look deeper inside us, of our hearts, to know that our intentions are always good, even if they are in self preservation. We are goodhearted people. We just make mistakes, so you have to forgive yourself. Number Eleven, give love a chance. Do it again and again until you get it right. I think that's kind of self explanatory, and I don't necessarily believe that this is just related to a relationship in particular, Kuler, but for those of us who struggle with relationships with our family members, with our partners, with our children, with our you know, other family members or friends you know, give love a chance. You know what I'm saying. Keep doing it, because love really is such a beautiful emotion that when you're surrounded by it, you just kind of reflect it and it continues to multiply, and sometimes you can soften even the hardest heart by giving them love, even if they can't give it back to you in return. Number twelve is love is like well, I mean money is like water. It comes and goes like the tide, so make sure not to put too much emphasis on it...

...because you'll chase it away. Even millionaires go bankrupt, y'all, even millionaires go bankrupt. Even the poorest person can find a way to save money. It's just money. But if you're chasing money and not actually putting a purpose behind what you're doing, it's just going to continue to go away because you don't have a healthy relationship with it. So don't chase it. Wait for it to come to you in the way that it's supposed to manifest for you. Number Thirteen is the things that are meant for you will always be for you, no matter what. I think we know what that means. You know, we sometimes we try to put pressure on things and when we put pressure on things, they they tend to go away a lot faster than we intended. But if you if something's actually meant for you, even the pressure, believe it or not, that'll probably subside and eventually things will come back to the way they're supposed to be. So believe that what's meant for you will always be for you, no matter what. Number Fourteen. This one was very hard for me, but grieving is one hell of an emotion, so make sure you treat yourself kindly during that time. Your heart is truly broken and it needs time to heal. I know I've talked about my grandmother a lot on this podcast. She was basically my mentor and life my life coach, and I still carry her very deep inside of my heart and I remind myself every day to make sure that I live a life that she would be proud of. And you know, like I said, grieving was very difficult when I lost her. So, now that I'm looking back, there could have been things that I would have done differently. But you know, if you're out there grieving, you guys, just make sure that you're treating yourself well. Number fifteen is keep your body healthy and it will treat you well too. Look, I'm not saying be a Barbie doll out here right, but I'm just telling you be mindful of your body, because it's the only one you have. Number Sixteen, when in doubt, follow your heart. The heart wants what the heart wants. This can be applied to everything in life, your purpose, your dream, your drive, the things that you do. Make sure that you're putting your heart into it, because when you put your heart into to it, that means that you're actually leading in the right direction, leaning in the right direction of things that actually suit you. So just listen to your heart, man. Number seventeen, shut up more. Yeah, I swear, they're probably be like ten people out there in the world that are listening to this who know me. They're like yes, Rita, shut up more. And then I can also follow that one up with number eighteen. That's you're not always right, and again, shut up more and listen. You can learn so much from listening to other people and sometimes when we keep talking and we think that we're right, we miss the chance to actually hear the other person. So instead of actually having a constructed conversation, all you're doing is feeding the other person versus allowing them to really express themselves. So make sure that you're listening more. Number nineteen, don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Man, I've talked about vulnerability in a previous episode and I have learned to love to be vulnerable. I don't know why, but I feel like it's probably one of the most important things to learn and conquer, to be able to challenge yourself past that fear. It's liberating. So don't be afraid to be vulnerable all. Number Twenty, sing, dance, love. I think you know all this has been pretty much like a very repetitive thing in this least thirty five points, but that one's...

...pretty selfexplanatory. Number Twenty one is travel. It will open your mind to different things, experiences and people. I can't tell you how many different places I've traveled to all around the world and all the different experiences that I have experienced. Like I can find beauty everywhere, from the little tiny town of Memphis to Arkansas, to Paris, to Russia, Hunduras, like every place on this earth has a special thing and people and experiences, and if you don't get out of your comfort zone and you don't leave where you're at right now, you'll never be able to experience that or see how different people live in other areas, so that it'll kind of give you a different perspective and make you also reflect on whether or not you should be changing some things about your life. Number twenty two, not everyone has your best interest. Learn to let learn to tell when someone is lying to you. Yeah, that's a little difficult, but you know, I've worked in a couple of different industries where I've had to work around people, a lot of people, and I've learned to be able to notice whether or not somebody's lying by their mannerisms, by the tonage of their voice and the truth is is that a lot more people are lying to you than they cared to tell you. But if you can at least know that not everyone has your best interest, you can protect yourself from that. So that is definitely one of my favorites. Number Twenty One, twenty three. Sorry, twenty three, everyone just wants to be seen and heard. Remember that the next time you decide to ignore somebody. Number twenty four, there's a time and a place for everything. I always remember when I was in high school when they were teaching us that actual that lesson right where they tell you you wouldn't go into a movie theater and Yale Fire because one you're disrespecting everybody's everyone's experience, but at the same time it would be like this massive rush of a mob out of the movie theater creating chaos. So learning that there is a time in a place for everything is super key. Number Twenty Five. History repeats itself unless behaviors are changed. You can go back in history books and see things that I mean history books or experiences or whatever. If the lesson wasn't learned from the initial situation or the initial start of problems, then you literally will go back and repeat the same exact thing again, so look for changed behaviors. Number Twenty six, have no expectations, because the only thing you have control over in this life is yourself. How many times do we have high expectations about people and they fail US every single time? How unfair is that to them for you to have expectations of things that you have no control over if you don't even have those same standards for yourself? It's not fair. Number Twenty seven, just do it already. I know somebody out there is listening to me right now and is sitting on an idea or stating on something that they need to do and they're not doing it. So get up, go do it now. Number Twenty Eight, ask your parents questions about their lives before it's too late. I've talked to a couple people about this recently, but I had an opportunity, when my mother was here, to question her. We played twenty questions, which is very uncomfortable game to play with your mother, but... the same time I got to really learn some things about her that I would have never in my life learned had I not had asked questions, and that that that sparked me to start asking deeper questions with my father as well, and like getting to know more information about them at an older age. I really have the opportunity to see who they were when they were raising me and who they are as people now and how these lessons have actually changed and molded them into who they are. So make sure you ask your parents questions. You'll number twenty nine. Take many pictures. So I've been accused of being a Selfi Queen, which is fine, funny enough, though I'm actually not. I haven't had a lot of photos back in the day that I kept, and I noticed this was a lot from my childhood as well, and so now I want to make sure that I'm capturing everything and I want to make sure that I have photos and memories of these moments that we don't get back, because I love to go back and reflect and remember when I was in a very happy space. Number thirty, and I think I've talked about this at the beginning, was learned to nurture a plant. Long process but super rewarding. It's I kind of told you the story at the beginning about these roses, but I literally have just been super excited about these little, tiny, minute details about life these days, because I can literally control just about everything possible for myself, but I can't control a plant. All I can do is sit and wait. Number thirty one. Forgive your parents. They didn't have a guide to show them how to be everything you needed. I think that's pretty self explanatory. Your parents are human, to make sure you forgive them. Number thirty two. Each mind a different world, as I mentioned earlier. You can't control or have high expectations about anyone because everyone has a completely different mind. And this kind of leads into number thirty three, which communication is key. Learn different styes styles and how to apply them to situations. Look, the person that you're talking to across the table might not actually be receiving the message that you're giving them because they don't understand, and it's totally okay. How many people out there in this world have been married to somebody for forty five years and they always talk about communication being an issue for them, that they can't communicate well? So just keep in mind that person S in has their own mind to if you learn to communicate solidly with them, it'll make it a lot easier. Number thirty four. Silence is beautiful. Learned to be calm and present. Again, going back to meditation, like I have learned the importance of sitting quietly and really just letting things happen. I like to think about it as like you know in those movies when there's a person like sitting in the window or something like that, and all of a sudden you see the seasons change and they're just kind of like sitting there for a little while and they don't realize how much time has passed. But the good thing is is that the world continues revolving regardless, and they honestly are reflecting and get some pretty good answers from there. So, as I said, I'm a great proponent when it comes down to meditation. I'm a really awesome show coming up next with Stephanie Osborne. What we'll talk about the power of meditation. She is an amazing woman who's married to Terence Osbourne in the painter but she also has created her own creative space and also mindful meditation practice in New Orleans, and I'll tell you, guys, she's got some amazing gems that she'll be dropping. So you want to listen to that show. And last but not least, number thirty five.

You are everything you're supposed to be, and we were made perfect. Don't be so hard on yourself, guys. Our lives are literally a tiny little speck. So why not be patient and be calm with yourself, because you're already perfect. Thanks so much for sitting with me today and listening to me job on about my thirty five points that I've learned about life so far. It has been such an amazing journey and I look forward to the next. Three times I turned thirty five, I tell everybody I am going to make it to a hundred and I do believe it. Believe it or not, my grandparents on my father's side, one was ninety two, the other one is ninety six and she's still alive, and other two grandparents lived till about eighty four and seventy seven. So I have a pretty good shot of making it out there. So, anyway, till next time, you guys, make sure to keep it positive or don't keep it at all. Thanks for tuning in to empowerment and all that podcast with your host, read Aboutista. Want to help me grow the listener tribe. Make sure to subscribe to this podcast and follow us on instagram and facebook, under empowerment and all that, and remember keep it positive or don't keep it at all.

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