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Empodera Latina
Empodera Latina

Season 1, Episode · 11 months ago

How Rosalia Rivera is Breaking the Cycle of Generational Trauma

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

On today’s episode, Rosalia Rivera of AboutConsent joins me to discuss how she challenged cultural norms to allow herself to break the cycle of abuse within her own life.

Rosalia Rivera is a consent educator, abuse prevention specialist, sexual literacy advocate, speaker, change agent, and the founder of CONSENTparenting™. She is the host of the AboutCONSENT™ podcast and creator of CONSENTwear™. Rosalia teaches parents, particularly child sexual abuse survivors, how to educate their children on body safety, boundaries, and consent so that they can empower their families to prevent abuse and break intergenerational cycles. Rosalia is on a mission to end child sexual abuse, dismantle shame, and help survivors heal and become thrivers.

Be sure to follow Rosalia on social media @consentparenting and to find out more about abuse prevention go to https://www.consentparenting.com/

O Lamgas, me nombre Rita Bautista, and I am the founder of the Latina podcasters network, a platform created to globally amplify the voices of Latinas who podcast. I started my company because I wanted to hear the voices of my community and my people reflected back into my ears. Well, this podcast is dedicated to all of those dreamers and founders who decided that they also wanted to take a chance on themselves and create something for their community. In EMPOIRA, Latina. You'll hear stories from CEOS to social media experts, MOMS, tech company owners and leaders from across the world that are all Latina's here to share their stories with you weekly. Stay tuned, Ola alamgas, it's ridout thesta. Hear the CEO and founder of the Latina podcasters network, joined by Rosalier Rivera today. She's a consent educator, abuse prevention specialists, sexual literacy advocate, speaker, change agents, founder of consent parenting, the host of about consent podcast and Child Sexual Abuse Survivor turned thriver, turned warrior. Rosalia Mucha Usta, and thanks so much for being here with me today. Thanks for having me, and I have to say I love how you roll the Urs on my name, because I usually do it. So yeah, thanks for having me. Absolutely it's so exciting to be here with you. For those of you who had a chance to listen to the episode with loose earlier, Rosalia and I met through podcasting, but also through the ENYA dream accelerator, which I've talked about a few times on the podcast. But just wanted to give a quick shout out to denise solid cocks, who's always just like an awesome mentor almost like a fairy Godmother, and so if you're listening to this, denise, if you're not, a going to send it to you anyway. But I have met some amazing, amazing Lettin as at our entrepreneurs that have created just some wonderful things for our community and creating space for us in spaces that sometimes are very difficult conversations to have. And so you talk a lot about sexual trauma and having consent for your children. So how did you get started on this journey? Yeah, so I try to talk more about empowerment along with it, right, because I know that when people think of sexual trauma, the first thing that comes to mind is like a lot of pain. A lot of you know mental health issues and while that's true, I also want to inspire people to know that there is a possibility to be empowered, to reclaim your power, and I think that was part of what helped me decide that this was really the path that I wanted to take, and it started with really realizing that I wanted to educate and empower my kids and break the cycle of trauma and sexual abuse that was happening in my family. And I it wasn't my first take and of entrepreneurship, though I had actually been an entrepreneur before. I had a marketing agency. I had been in marketing actually for close to eighteen years and had an agency with employees. It was a brick and mortar and I kind of it kind of came to the forefront where I realized that it wasn't the business that I actually wanted. I enjoyed and loved entrepreneurship, but I wasn't doing it right and also I wasn't doing the thing that I was truly passionate about. And so when I had to be forced to slow down because of health issues, not just with myself but also one of my children, I did a lot of soul searching and and it was around the same time when I started realizing that what I had been educating myself about with my kids to empower them with something that wasn't really available to other parent purnts. And so I thought, well, I have all these skills in entrepreneurship and I have the ability to teach, because that's what I used to do when I was working as a, you know, marketing agency, was really teaching other entrepreneurs how to market. And so I had these skills and this newly lit passion for wanting to help other survivors. And I've always been the type of person that like wants to get on a soapbox and like tell people, listen, this is this is what's wrong and this is how we can do something about it, because I've always been...

...an action implementer and taker, and I thought, well, you know, I have all of these things that I can do and put them together, and that was how the podcast was born. First, and then it was, you know, I was trying to get this message out about empowerment and and teaching our kids, you know, about consent, and then it evolved into like all these parents wanting to learn more and I realize like, okay, I'm ready to step into helping families, and then consent parenting was born, and that was that's really the business element where, you know, it became this platform for creating programs and, you know, virtual content that could help people, but also to support them through community and community building and let them know that they're not alone. So that's kind of how all that came out. And then the third part of my business that kind of sprouted from that was consent where, which is something that I finally have started promoting this year, which has been exciting to launch and and yeah, I'm just continuing on this journey now, which has been super exciting, super empowering. I know I probably over use that word, but it all has also been really healing, not just for me but for anyone who connects with my work, and so that, you know, keeps me going. How would you define the word empowerment or empowering? Claiming your boundaries, claiming your autonomy, claiming your rights, saying this is what I am worthy of and saying I will not accept anything less. That's really interesting, right when we're talking about empowerment and dealing with sexual trauma and talking about that right. It's, you know, being able to deal and accepting and it rebringing the power back to ourselves to say I'm I'm taking this back right. What would actually ended up getting you into like wanting to talk about something so strong, specifically because in our communities in general it's always seen as like lost Rappo, soucios Ling and LACASA. We keep these conversations to ourselves and we don't talk about them because that's just what we do culturally. Yeah, I think think it was just rage. You know, there was like this point that I got really pissed at the fact that people weren't talking about it and I recognized really quickly that this is what held so much trauma within my family to not be healed, because people were afraid to talk and no one was willing to do that. And I I was willing to risk being the black sheep and saying I'm gonna talk about this and if you don't like it, stop me, like find a way to stop me, because I am not going to stop talking. And and just to say, you know, I'm gonna take that courageous risk because I'm tired of being angry about it and and not doing something about it, and I didn't really see, you know, anyone talking about it in a really substantial way. I know that this isn't to discredit those who have been doing this work, because, I mean, there are so many organizations and people who are in this space as survivors, trying to get this message out, but I feel like they've been kind of following the status quote to some degree, of trying to talk about it, but on deaf ears, and I was determined to like crack the code. I was like, how can we talk about this in a way that is strong enough to actually make an impact and inspire people to want to talk about it? So like this kind of this challenge, because, you know, everybody says, Oh, you're talking about something that people don't want to talk about, and I'm like, yeah, that's why we need to talk about it. I just got to the point where I realize that if people didn't understand the the facts, if they, you know, just obviously kept not talking about it, then they weren't aware of how big the problem was. And as I started doing more research, you know, just that fire in your belly just gets bigger and you realize, like I don't care how many people choose to not talk to me, within my family or, you know, whoever is just not on board with this, but I am like on a mission and I want to dismantle rape culture. I wanted to dismantle shame around these conversations. I want to normalize them because, at the end of the day, with what I'm talking about specifically, like we're putting children's lives at risk by being afraid to have these conversations, and I'm just not willing to sit back and be silent about it anymore. And so I'm trying to inspire people, motivate them, guilt them if necessary, to start having these talks because, yeah, you...

...know, we are just continuing perpetuating these cycles of trauma and we can't do that anymore. So, yeah, I I'm you know, whoever wants to talk to me about it, I'm willing to talk about it and and try to get this message out as as far and wide as we ten. You know, it sounds like at the center of all of this, at your core, your risk taker. When was the first time that you took like a huge risk in your life? Yeah, it's funny. I like I was looking back on my life and I'm like when was it? Because I remember this one time when I went in for this interview at Urban, let you know, magazine in New York, and it was the first time when, I think, I was like what, I considered myself to be an adult and just took a risk of going to this magazine that didn't ask me, they did invite me, they didn't have a help want to add and I just wanted to be I scheduled a meeting with the art director and I was like you need a photo editor and I can be that photo editor. It's just like super ballsy to just go in and say, you know, you need this and I can, you know, excel at it. And I had never photo edited before, but, you know, I I was like I can do it, you know, I think I think, thinking back on it though it was, it was probably when I was a kid and I never realized it until I started taking more and more risks and realize that yeah, sometimes I'm going to fall and scrape my knee, but other times I'm going to fly and just being willing to not care so much about what people thought. I grew up being taught to care. You know, and be really like taught to be a wallflower and taught to be quiet and not make noise, you know, gayelite. This is my money then, like I was definitely taught that and I always felt like it was wrong. I always felt like it what it just didn't resonate and I as much as I wanted to be the obedient kid, I also, you know, got to a point in my teen years where I just became like this rebel and I rebelled against culture, my Latin culture, I rebelled against religion, you know, and I did get hurt sometimes, because that can happen, but I also realized that I was resilient enough to get back up and keep going and those early lessons, I think, really shaped my early years as an adult. And continuing to take those risks kept paying off and so, you know, I just kept really banking on myself and I've continued to do that time after time and you know, I think learning to listen to my intuition has been also really powerful. So, yeah, just experience from from childhood and just, I think, coming out of the gate like no, I don't want to be quiet, I'm going to I got shit to say so, yeah, and saying it you have, obviously when talking about to huge topic, right. But how has culture played a role in your life now, saying that, you know, there were moments in which you kind of stepped away from it and you know, it seems as though it kind of plays a part but at the same time doesn't. So how does it actually how does it make Grossalia now? HMM, that's that's a powerful question. I think it's that I looked at what the cultural norms were and would try them on right and I think because I was brought up being forced to wear those norms and realizing that they didn't make me happy, that didn't make me feel good. They really went against my inner core, like, you know, intuition and self, and how I suffered because of it, you know, even to the extent of like wanting to fit in at school, yet not fitting in, and it's like why, I did all this work to try to fit in and I still don't fit in and I'm unhappy and why? What's the point, you know, and I started to notice that I was doing the same thing culturally. I remember one time, because I grew up, I've, you know, moved to the US, when I was five from El Salvador and then really assimilated very quickly into American culture and, you know, being able to speak it, speak English well, even though Spanish was the you know, what was spoken at home. But realizing like I can't fit in with my culture because I speak Spanish very poorly and I don't necessarily like, you know, want to eat certain foods, but then I also really love these things about my culture, sure, and also then feel like I'm ostracized by American culture. So just like never feeling like I fit anywhere and I was like, screw it, why am I trying to fit? I'm just gonna just try my best to just be me. And I've always been comfortable with being alone too. So I was okay with cutting...

...ties with toxic people. It was like, well, you know, ultimately, what's the point of having toxic people in my life if they're not going to make me feel good about myself or allow me to be myself? So I think just from a really young age I was willing to like cut people off in my life, and I think that example actually came from my mother separating from my father and like overnight, like she didn't tell us that this was going to happen. Like we just picked up and moved and I was and like we were in a in a home where there was domestic violence, there's alcoholism, there was sexual abuse, which I didn't even remember until I became an adult and had my own kids, but there was a it was a toxic environment and my mom like had dealt with it for a long time, but then she was like I'm done and we just like my dad, I think, went on a trip, business trip or something, and like we took off and that was it. There was no you know, it was like he got cut off and it was, I think, the first example that I was like, Oh, you can do that, like we can, we can just leave, like you don't have to stay in a toxic situation, and so I think that really early ample I was about eleven years old, really showed me that, you know, you don't have to stay in something that is not good for you, and I just kept following that throughout my life and even to this you know, to this day, it's like there's a lot of family members I don't talk to and I'm totally okay with that. I don't subscribe to this idea that like just because their family. I have to be loyal to people that are not healthy in my life. So, you know, that's that's very against this, you know, this idea of collectivism and cultural norms around that. But I'm okay with being the black sheep if it means that I'm going to be happier and healthier and pass on happier, healthier people into the world. That's really interesting. Yeah, because I think that a lot of people. You mentioned guilty people earlier and I was like it's almost like culturally we get guilted into being a collective and you know now, especially with this being mental health awareness month, it's like, you know, go Mokusama, Kaienda, Laurson, we're finally starting to get exactly what you're saying. It's okay to cut off these toxic experiences. We don't have to continue this cycle. And it is it does get a little scary at times because being the black sheep, which I can also put my hand up and say yeah, I'm want to, but it really does become a little like at first when you're getting past that part of I don't have to be part of this, and it's really great that you learned it at such a young age. But let's say there's someone who's listening to us right now and their experience, they're experiencing that I want to potentially cut away from this because it doesn't make me feel good. What advice would you give them so that they don't feel guilty that they're leaving the communal aspect of being let the in our Latin x? HMM. Yeah, well, I think that the fear is that it I mean, I think it comes from anthropologically, like you know, at the root core, like we are social beings and we're meant to be in community and there's this fear that if you get taken out of that community then you're going to be alone forever, and that's just not true because, especially today, maybe it was true many years ago, but we are in a totally different era where we have access to connection in it's in a heartbeat, right like we have the Internet. We have access to so many ways that we can find community, and I think that that's what's helped to propel so much social change, is that we have connections that we never thought we could have before and we realize that you don't have to stay in the closet. If you are X, Y Z right, you don't have to live in fear of being completely isolated, because there are so many other people that are sharing the same experience and you just have to search, you just have to look, you have to open your heart to other new experiences. That may feel scary, but that's the risk that you take living life, and if you're not willing to do that, then you're going to you're willing to suffer instead. Right, and to me it's like, I'm not. I feel like we have this one life and I want to optimize that as much as I can. I want to feel as much joy as I can, and to me that means not spending time nurturing relationships that are not healthy. You know, to me, my health, mental, physical, spiritual, sexual, is my priority, because then I can give that same kind of energy to others. When I am in the toxic environment and a toxic relationship, I will just like a flower would when it's not being given sunshine, light are, you know, water,...

...the things that it needs right. And so for me to give health, I have to be healthy, and so I refuse to allow toxicity in my life. So advice is be willing to take those risks because there are people who will come to your aid and they will have your back and there is community out there that is willing to embrace you and you are not going to end up being alone in this. So take the risks because, again, you have that one life and you will find your people. Seven, look a man Ganta is scoochat podcasts. It show sported, Latina's combosis and espaniold English espanglish. See at Ta Bientin Cantan Thos podcast. It shows the muchere is Latin as Como Yo be Latina podcasters, Punto compar and Contrama DECIDENTA podcast getting it shows port Latin has a Latin x creators, Gomo Dou Yo, but I'm a sing formacion B C. Then mostro website, Latina podcasters, ptocom. What has been one of the biggest lessons that you've had so far as an entrepreneur? One probably the biggest one is to WHO. Let me see, my God, there's so many. I think the biggest one is to find mentors, because I think we tend to look at school as like, okay, you go to university and then you have these teachers who give you guidance and then you're done. But then you go off into the world and you're like, okay, I don't know how to figure this out, so I'm just going to like try to figure it out on my own. And meanwhile there's like all these amazing mentors, which are the same as teachers, and so I think finding someone who can help guide you, who has experience, who you can learn from, that is like first of all, you you develop of amazing relationships, but then also you learn from people that have the experience, who are wise, and you know, it's like those guides, like you think of Yoda, right, like Yoda as a mentor. Like we need to find mentors in our life that can help us, you know, make those moves that would maybe take us five extra years if we tried to do it on our own and then burn out and we feel like we failed. But meanwhile it was like no, there's this community with this mentor that can like help you get their faster and in a much more supported way. And I wish I had done that from the very beginning with my own entrepreneurial journey, and I didn't learn that until my my most recent business, which is, you know where I feel like I finally have stepped into my calling, but that was nurtured by the right mentors who said, you know this, this matters. What you're doing is helping people. Here's how I can help you make that happen faster or easier or better, you know. And so I would say, yeah, finding a mentor, and and not just one, you know, I have multiple that I think, you know, are already doing what I want to be doing and have helped me learn how to get there faster. So you say you have multiple mentors. Can you tell us, like, is there a specific mentor for each part of your life, or do you have one for like marketing or business? Like? How? How do you define those mentors and when do you call on them? Yeah, so, yeah, I do. Yeah, it's basically for different parts. I mean, and I have, first of all, I have a therapist, which I kind of see as a bit of a mental mentor, and so, you know, making sure I take care of my mental health. And I have a guide who can help me see past the trees. Right, like I sometimes only see the forest and then or is advice versa. I always get my metaphors wrong, but anyway, and so yeah, I have that. I also have a business coach, I have a marketing coach. I've I've had other coaches which didn't work out either. It's like, okay, I learned something from them, but that wasn't like really my energetic vibe, and so I've released them. I've had, you know, a mentor who helps me with branding. So yeah, right now I think I have like three or three, three or four at the most, but I would never try to do this ever again without some kind of guidance and support, because otherwise I'm trying to do like too many things on my own and that just burns my energy out and I want to be able to spend time with my family and, you know, find joy in other things besides just my business. And I used to just be fully absorbed in it because I was trying to figure it all out by myself. So yeah, I and you know, I'm the I think I was like a course junkie at one point. I was like I need to learn from this person and that person and like when kind of down this like bit of a trap, and and that's okay to like, you know, sometimes you just gotta test who it works with the best and who you can learn...

...from. So I don't regret at any of that, but I think, you know, refining, like making sure that who you are working with, you you vibe with energetically. That's really awesome. I want to take a second to go back to something that you mentioned, that one of your mentors is a therapist and, you know, I think we're getting better as a culture and community of dismantling the issue of mental health and actually being more aware of it, whereas maybe a generation before, people would see, you know, you know, Stiloca, I'm not crazy, there's no way I'm going to talk to a therapist. I'll never forget my own personal experience when I mentioned to a family member that I was going to therapy and he's like, but you're not crazy, your mother is, and I'm like that's not nice. Like but it was a very big stigma at first. Yeah, and sometimes we do have to be the risk taker, we do have to be the person that puts ourselves out there to start talking about these mental health issues, and I've mentioned this before. You know, I thrive with anxiety. Now I have had, you know, five years of being of therapy and taking my happy pills occasionally when I have to, when life gets a little too hard, you know, and in normalizing the conversation around therapy. But what was that thing that led you to start your journey with therapy? Yeah, it was actually when I was in high school, I got caught smoking a joint. Well, I'd actually got caught high, not smoking a joint, because as in the cafeteria and I think the teach, the the student aid or the teacher's aid saw me and recognized right away that like something's up and took me to, you know, the principal's office and about a week later I had to meet with a school counselor and she actually wasn't even I think she was the school psychologist, and she did this meditation with me, which I'd never done before, and and she walked me through sort of doing like a body scan and kind of a hypnosis thing and really, and she recognized early on that I could achieve what I was trying to achieve with getting high through this other process of you know, mindfulness. And you know, what I didn't know at the time was like essentially hypnosis, meditation, you know kind of kind of technique, and that was the first time that I thought like Oh, that's that's interesting, right, because it's to me, the only time that you ever get quiet is when you're praying, right. I was raised like in a Catholic home. So and then I in eleventh grade, I actually took a psychology class and it was game changing. So I took this class in eleventh grade, which is a psychology class, and interestingly enough, the teacher who taught the class was considered and like all, I think, the teachers and the students kind of like behind there, his back kind of lab like, oh, he's crazy, which is ironic because he's, you know, a psychology teacher. And he I thought he was amazing. I thought he was like so out of the box with his way of even teaching the class. He always showed movies and kind of like helped us to like dissect what it was, and he showed this movie called Sybil. It was with Sally Field and if anybody's listening as ever seen it, but essentially it's about this woman who has multiple personalities and how this therapist basically helped her really integrate, you know, into a whole person and find out where this disassociation happened. Like why was it? And it turned out that it was that she had been abused when she was a kid and it was a first time. I remember seeing that movie and it like blew my mind. I understood the power of looking inward and trying to understand the source. It's like you don't just get crazy for no reason, like there is there is something, some traumatic event, right, and it was around the same time that we had my sister had disclosed about what happened with her abuse, and I just connected these dots and I was like, this explains so much about why she's angry all the time. Like we used to be on pins and needles walking around my sister and it was like why is she just like angry, like you know, we came to I came to terms with this is why, this is what happened, right, and that actually inspired me to actually want to go to school to become a therapist, which I ended up going to university to become a sex therapist, which I ended up leaving my third year. That's a whole other story, but that was really what introduced me to the idea of therapy and wanting to be a resource for survivors and to see how I could help others, because I ultimately wanted to help my sister. And I think ever since then I've always seen the value and I've always seen the power and I started going to therapy when I was in university be because I was getting triggered and I was actually in an abusive relationship...

...with someone who ended up becoming a stalker. And like I didn't realize that until I went and spoke to someone and at my college and they were like, yeah, this person is toxic, so, you know, let him go and I was able to make a positive change in my life. So after that I was like, therapy is the way. You know, I will never not see someone if I feel like I need help, and I just wasn't finding that within my culture. So I was like, well, what's wrong with therapy? Like, you know, people say that it's bad, but I like, to me, it's done nothing but good. So I've just always been an advocate since since then, and I think, yeah, it started in high school. I think now, as an adult, I'm starting to realize that the reason why our community and our culture so afraid of therapy is because they have to unpack all of the trauma, all of the issues, all of everything, and it's like who wants to go through that Jo you know, I love therapy too, I absolutely love it. However, that that journey is a hard one and at times, you know, you can revisit it sometimes without even know when you're getting triggered and all these things, and it's like, you know, everybody wants to live like That's some got naval, and it's like I'd rather dance and drink and party even to have to actually confront the issues. And you know, I guess I'm part now, looking back, I'm like, I get it right, but I also now feel like a completely different person because of experiencing that journey and unpacking the issues and now like identifying and labeling the things that you're feeling instead of running away from them. So it's really awesome that you were able to do that, especially at such an impressionable age, while you're in college, because I could have affected the remainder of your life. Right. Yeah, yeah, solutely. Yeah, I totally agree. I mean I think most people are afraid of, you know, having to look inward. Like I mean even when I started educating myself about abuse prevention when my kid was five and I got triggered constantly by what I was learning and I realized, like, there's something something going on here and I started, you know, going to see someone because I wasn't really sure. It's like I'm having panic attacks anxiety all the time. I didn't realize until my like late s that I had anxiety D I just thought that I was just dealing with like being stressed and I was like, I'm just stressed, you know, I'm just working a lot, I'm trying to like power through this. I had a bit of a drinking problem when I was in my early s and I didn't realize that it was just to numb the stuff that I didn't want to confront. And so, yeah, I mean this is not an easy road, but it is the most rewarding one, because healing does not just heal you, it heals the people around you. It heals your generation to come. Like you know, we have come from so much trauma that, yeah, it's going to be scary to unpack that, but you're going to become stronger, more resilient, you're going to heal, you're going to be able to empower other people. There is just a reward that comes with it. I mean, we're willing to work ourselves to the bone, right and do this physically uncomfortable work, we have the ability to do this other kind of really uncomfortable work that has much richer rewards. So, you know, I just I can't ever say enough about it and like screw the stigma, you know, like who cares? I mean one of the things that I think biggest things I can tell people to is my mom always drilled into me like we don't want people to say right, we don't want people to think right, and I hated that, oh my goodness. Like even to this day I'm like I need to show up with my family like as authentically as possible, because we had to portray this like perfect family, but like behind the scenes it was the complete opposite. And so to me it's like why did we have to suffer through portraying something that was fake for the sake of what? So people say something and then what? And then what happens? We're going to get ostracized, like I don't care. I don't want to be part of a community that I have to be fake for. So, you know, I always tell people, like we you know, when you reframe that idea of like what people are going to think. Do People Pay Your bills? Do people put money on you know, put put food on the table? You know, are those the people that you really want to be with anyway? Like, if people love you for who you are, that's the people I want to be with and I you know, if they're like go to therapy, like that's going to help you, then that's who I know is my people. You know, if you're going to say, oh, you're crazy because you're going to therapy, I don't know if I can hang out with you, well then you're not my people. So thank you for making space for the people that do. You care about my well being genuinely...

...and want to see me thrive. They're the ones that are going to support me in whatever it is that I'm doing. That's positive for me. So that's what I got to say about that. Yeah, absolutely, you know, you have to surround yourself with people of like minds and it will give you a happy life regardless. I just wanted to take a second to acknowledge anybody who's listening right now. If you are having feelings that you cannot define, or if you're in an uncomfortable position, you know, take that first step for yourself, call a mental health expert. There are hotlines as well. We never know what state of person is in when they're listening to something. So I hope that anything that we're talking about right now reaches your heart and your soul and your mind and gives you a little bit of peace, and I hope that you can also receive the same type of benefit from therapy that Rosilia and myself of also received and know that you're not alone. This is a journey, it's life, and sometimes we have to separate ourselves and think about ourselves first before, like you mentioned, pouring into other people. MM. I also want to just add to that too that there's other ways that we can heal. It doesn't have to just be therapy, like there's so many different modalities today. I mean there's hypnotherapy, there is eft, you know, there's energy healers, like. There's so many different ways that we can kind of build our resilience before we step into that unpacking process. And for a lot of survivors, if they have been through a lot of trauma and they have not dealt with it, but it's showing up physically. You know, like a lot of times we don't realize like how that shows up physically. It can be chronic illness, it can be, you know, eating disorders, it can be so many different things, and sometimes we have to deal with that physical part first and get our selves resilient enough. You know, sometimes that can be just learning how to sleep. If you're an insomnia can, you need rest so that your brain, you know, can process what you're going to you know, embark on building our resiliency is really important, and so sometimes that can be, you know, just finding someone who can help you learn how to care for yourself. I know that sounds really basic, but like selfcare is hard for some people and they don't know how to do it and they don't feel worthy of self care, and so sometimes that is the first entry point to your healing process. So if you are listening and you you feel like, you know, this is a lot and I don't know if I can do it, you don't have to step into therapy. Sometimes it's an access issue too, like if you don't have the funds to get a therapist, like there's other ways, you know, don't give up on finding that journey for yourself. there. It doesn't look one way. There's lots of different ways to step into it, but do something that is going to nourish you in one way, shape or form. Absolutely and you know, that's the thing too, especially because it is a cultural thing. It seems like Moheaded, let me another, taught to not worry about themselves and worry about everybody else first. So making sure to find that selfcare a time and making time for yourself or finding somebody that can help you, I think is absolutely right. You know, if it's one thing that I could take away from our culture, I would take that away, because I think we have to put ourselves at the center of our universe all the time. I know it sounds selfish, but it really isn't, because you teach the next generation what they're going to accept, you know, and it's not taking away or changing or not showing love. It's actually showing as showing yourself more love when you have boundaries. Yes, and I you know, I learned something from my kids a while back when I think my son was three or something. Maybe he was for but anyway, he was saying, you know, Mommy, I love you and I said I love you too, you know, and he's just do you love? You know, and he asked me, like you know, do you love Max? Do you love hunter? Do you love Daddy and a stead? Of course I love I love everybody. And he goes, do you love yourself? And I was like yes, I do. It's like, okay, I love myself too. I'm like rock on. I just like yeah, and I like it was the first time that I was like wait a second, like kids know that I didn't ever phrase it that way and and it may seem like something just kind of obvious, but I don't think we think that way about ourselves. And the other day, like, and I swear like I almost felt embarrassed, and I'm going to I'm going to share this at the sake of embarrassing myself, but I was I was in the kitchen, cooking or something, and and like this thought came to my mind, like I really like myself, like I really like, I really think I'm cute, like I would I would date myself, like if I could, you know, and I was like, you know, if I was to meet somebody, like I would want them to be a lot like me, because, I mean I I already have met my match, and he and the funny thing is that he is still much like me. And I laugh because it's like yeah, if I found myself like I would think I was cute...

...and I would think I got stuff going on, and I was like is that bad for me to think that about myself? And and it was like this there was like this wrestling with guilt about the fact that I loved myself. I've come to really embrace who I am and accept me and love me, and I was like that's weird. That felt weird to have that recognition of myself and I was like wow, that's I think I just like unpacked and like did away with years of cultural, you know, conditioning, and it was really an empowering moment. And that just happened in the kitchen and like the middle of the day. Is Really Cool. That's really cool that you had a chance to to have a moment like that. Like I mean, especially with what you're doing for the community. I mean you have a quote, or I think this is your motto, essentially on your website that says men the past, change the present, teach the future. Even if you're teaching yourself. You've already done all three of those things in yourself. So I think that's very beautiful to like bring it back full circle and reflect back and say, you know what, I'm pretty cool. I love myself. There's nothing wrong with that. And Yeah, yeah, I've seen other people talk about it and I think that made me somehow subconsciously feel like I could give myself permission to do that too and be like you know what, like I have always admired people who could say that and I always thought I can't say that, but then I finally was able to and it just really felt like liberating, you know. So I encourage people to look at themselves like, you know, like love yourself, like hug yourself in the morning, you know, look at yourself in the mirror and go like you're a Badass, like check you out, you know, and like why you would say that to a friend, but you would never say that to yourself, right? And it's like this weird thing that I'm still getting used to, but the more you practice it, the more you recognize that there is like we are all, we all have gifts, we all have something that we contribute in the world and we should acknowledge ourselves for that and not be in be unapologetic about it, because, you know, we give other people power to do that when we can do that. You know, it's like that. That's saying, like until you like, you give permission to other people to shine their light when you shine your own. Right, absolutely well, I'm telling you here. I think you're a Badass and that's one of the reasons why you're on the podcast, and you know I yes, yeah, no, for sure. I mean that's the whole point, right. It's if other people aren't going to highlight you, you have to highlight yourself, and I believe in that wholeheartedly, especially when the media portrays our community in a very negative light. I think it's even more so a reason why we should be loving ourselves individually and as a collective a lot more, because there's so many amazing things, so many amazing women. Lettin has let Thein knows Latin x community in general that it are creating space for us and giving us the ability to say no, I'm not going to be this or I am going to be this or whatever, and it's like, yeah, we have to celebrate that, even if you're the one looking in the mirror at first, when you first get started up, to not to renewer any being able to like self promote. It's challenge, but you know that's what you have to do. So yeah, yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad. So you wake up every morning and you're like, I love you. So well, there's I think that. Well, I meditate every morning actually, and I think that that's a practice of self love. Like I think that that's like an honoring of me to my soul, to connect, you know, with something greater than myself and recognize that I'm part of that greater thing. Right, and it does. I'm not separate from it. I honor source and Universe, whatever and whatever that is, and recognizing that I am part of it. So why can't I be as great as that collective beauty? That's you know, that that energizes the world. So when I meditate, I feel like the that's me honoring that self, you know, that that soul energy, and it helps me like step into the day feeling like I'm ready to do whatever it is that I need to do with confidence. And so that's probably, you know, sort of that where a lot of that nurturing comes from is just like I'm going to take care of me first before anyone else today. Are you a podcaster and having trouble trying to get an audience to connect to your podcast? Well, we have a solution. Join the largest global platform in the world for Lettinas who podcast, Lettina podcasterscom. Add Your podcast to the directory and you'll get a lot more listenership to your podcast. For more information, go to let Theina podcasterscom. Well, before...

...we wrap up, I wanted to ask you really quick how do you define the word let Theina? Hmm, I think to me the word let Theina is all of the different flavors that come from Latin America, whether you've lived in the US forever, but you have some kind of connection to it, you know, through some aspect of culture or roots, and you embody and and honor any element of it. So you don't have to, you know, just like be a Spanish speaker or an English speaker. Like I think that as long as you identify in some way with your roots or your culture and you celebrate it, that makes you LETTINA. It's a beautiful definition. Thank you so much for that. Well, now for the lighter part of the podcast episode. I Gollo Lou I didn't bull that. I mean, though. So we are here for power hour and we're going to ask for Salia some rapid fire questions and we'll see if she can answer them as quickly as none of the podcast episode so far nobody's been able to just like go off the cuss, but if you might be the first one I have. I believe in you know. Are you ready as I'm ready. Let's do all right, let's go. What was your favorite class in school? Psychology. Are you superstitious a little bit? What superstitions do you believe in? Numbers, I think just like you know, seeing double digits, like I always say, okay, what does that mean? So that's probably the biggest. We go to Karaoke, what Song do you pick? Oh my God, probably something from George Michael. I was raising the S and I have like a radio in my head and George Michael Music for some reason always comes up, so that's probably the first thing that would come up. Who is your favorite family member? Oh God, my mom, mom, okay, what was your favorite meal growing up? MMM, platos. Going away was and reefried black beans, like yeah, that sounds delicious. Hmm if you had to delete three APPs from your phone, which ones would you delete? She's that's a hard one. I don't even know what Apps I have on my phone. Probably there's a one called brain toss and probably my oh, that's hard. I don't know what else. I'm like. All of my apps are there for a reason. I would maybe say there's one that I use for, like, probably can books. I don't really I use it more on desktop, and there's one for captions. So those are the like the least you least ones I use. That's a hard one. Have you completed anything on your bucket list? Probably most of it, I I mean I still have a long list, but I think I try to consciously check off as much as I can. What's the name of your favorite cow? I'm out there cow. She has cows Um. Well, my kids named them, and probably butter, because I love butter. Anyway, that's awesome. I love that name. You're hilarious, so cute. Did you have a nickname growing up, and what was it? Oh, I hated it, so I have to say it. Oh my God. All right, you know, you're funny like I. Now I feel embarrassed. All right, it was it was Charlie, Charlie, and I hated it. I didn't really like it because my first name is coddming and it's not and it's only because it's the name of a family member that I don't really like. So that's the only reason. But I didn't like Charlie. I just was like no, I'm I started calling myself Leah because it's Rosalia. So I was like, Leah is the new name and I stopped using it. So that's funny. Just brought back memories. You know, it's funny because Analla made which was the second episode. Her nickname was alwas the Momo on and it's still like the funny to me. I'm like, this girl's Hilarious, but but yeah, so we all have those nicknames that nobody wants anybody to know and I like please, do not call me that, but now it's on a podcast. Thank you very right. Welcome. You heard it here, guys, the secrets revealed on him put Latina podcast. But Rosalia,...

...has been such an awesome honor to have you on. Thank you so much for talking about your story, your journey, how to be a risk taker and your therapy or experience. How can people get a hold of you if they're interested in finding out more information about consent parenting or how to live and thrive through any difficult experiences that they're having. HMM. Well, thank you for having me. Like I this was such a fun episode and I know we talked about some heavy topics, but that rapid fire was hilarious. I loved it. Yeah, so if people want to connect, you can go to consent parentingcom. My podcast is about concentcom and my clothing line is concentwherecom and all of my resources are there. You can, you know, connect with me also on instagram about consent and podcast and content parenting. I'm really active there, so if you want to connect, you can dm me as well. That's awesome. Thanks for tuning in to Em Boder and Latina podcast with your host read Abouti stuff. I'm hoping that you got a chance to fill yourself up with amazing, empowering stories from Latina's like you and I. For more information on Lettina podcasters network, go to Lettina podcasterscom. We also have a directory of over seventy podcast listed there, all made by Latina and Latin X podcasters. Follow us on Instagram, facebook and all your social media platforms, and don't forget to rate and subscribe to this podcast. And remember keep it positive or don't keep it at all.

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